Friendships are an important part of growing up; they help children develop social skills, confidence, and emotional resilience. However, making friends doesn’t come naturally for some kids, who may need extra help to build these connections. School closures during the COVID-19 pandemic had significant adverse effects on children’s social skills; 72% of children aged 5-9 haven’t fully regained their social skills. Over 50% of adults surveyed agree that their children in this age group struggle to make friends because they lack the confidence to speak to other children. The good news is that this doesn’t have to be permanent.
Young children are resilient, and even limited interactions with one friend can help them feel less isolated, helping them overcome the pandemic’s adverse side effects. As a parent, you play an essential role here. You can help your children learn the social skills for making friends by teaching empathy and calming techniques and facilitating friendships for young children by introducing them to friends based on proximity. Here are some ways to help your child make friends, from understanding their unique social needs to knowing when to seek professional help.
Understanding Your Child’s Social Needs
Each child makes friends at their own pace. Some children naturally gravitate toward social interactions, while others may be more reserved. Shy, introverted, or anxious children may have difficulty making friends and could benefit from extra encouragement in social situations. Recognizing these needs can help you support your child in ways that suit their personality. At around 3 or 4 years old, children begin moving from parallel play — playing alongside other children — to more interactive play, which marks the initial stages of developing friendships.
Encourage this interaction by arranging playdates or enrolling your child in group play activities. If your child is shy, smaller gatherings or one-on-one playdates may be better for helping kindergarteners make friends. Teaching empathy and active listening can help children socialize with peers. Studies have shown that seating arrangements can also influence friendships. Children are likelier to become friends with classmates they sit next to at school, making classroom settings a key part of your child’s social development.
Building a Solid Foundation at Home
The foundation of social skills and friendship begins at home. You can set an example for your child by modeling empathy, active listening, and kindness. Discussing emotions and practicing compassion can improve your child’s ability to relate to others. You could ask questions such as, “How do you think your friend felt when you shared your toys?” to help them understand and express empathy.
Teaching children to manage emotions is also important, especially when helping your introverted teenager make friends. Techniques such as “name it to tame it” can help kids label and control their feelings, making them less likely to feel overwhelmed during social interactions. Reinforcing these skills at home can boost your child’s confidence when interacting with others. A calm, understanding child is often better at handling the ups and downs of early friendships.
Practical Strategies for Helping Your Child Make Friends
If you’re wondering how to help your daughter make friends or how to help your son make friends, here are some practical tips:
- Organize play dates: Arrange regular playdates with your child’s classmates or neighborhood kids to provide opportunities for interaction in a comfortable setting.
- Encourage group activities: Encourage your child to join team sports, art classes, or local clubs where they can meet other kids with similar interests. Group activities build cooperation and teamwork skills and help kids feel included.
- Try role-playing social scenarios: Practice social situations at home to build confidence. For example, you can role-play introducing themselves or joining a group activity to make real-life socializing feel more familiar and less intimidating.
- Focus on positive self-talk: Children who struggle with self-confidence may feel anxious about making friends, so building their self-esteem is key. Help them replace self-doubt with encouraging thoughts, such as “I’m a good friend” or “I’m good at sharing.”
- Teach social cues and boundaries: Explaining the importance of personal space, taking turns, and asking questions can make a big difference, especially for younger children or those unused to socializing with new people.
- Develop oracy skills: Developing oracy skills through programs such as Oracy in Action can significantly improve a child’s confidence in expressing themselves and understanding others.
When To Seek Additional Help
Sometimes, a child may struggle to make friends despite your best efforts. If they often talk about feeling lonely, seem anxious around their peers, or want to avoid socializing altogether, it may be time to seek support. Other signs include persistent isolation, anxiety about social situations, or difficulty understanding social cues. Pediatric neuropsychological assessments can help identify underlying issues, such as social anxiety or developmental delays, which may affect your child’s ability to connect with peers and form friendships.
Working with a specialist can help your child build essential social skills at their own pace. Neuropsychological testing may also be beneficial if you suspect conditions such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder or autism spectrum disorder may be affecting your child’s social interactions. These assessments can offer valuable information about your child’s strengths and challenges and help you find appropriate interventions.
Get Help for Your Struggling Child in Arlington Heights
Helping your child make friends is an ongoing process requiring patience, understanding, and proactive strategies. You can equip your child with the tools to build meaningful friendships by creating a supportive environment at home and encouraging positive social interactions. If your child is still struggling to make friends or you’re concerned about their social skills, consult a pediatric specialist who can provide individualized support. Early intervention can make a big difference, helping your child build confidence, manage social anxiety, and learn the skills for making friends. Contact NeuroHealth Arlington Heights to schedule an assessment today.
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